Why yes I DID eat that skittle. Off the airplane floor.
To my guys in 1A and 1D, thanks for being good sports. I knew you could take my sarcasm. (Someone has to every ️Flight.). You really didn’t smell weird. The seats next to you were actually empty because here at ️Delta those sports jackets you were wearing signified some sort of importance. Therefore we purposely lost out on revenue just so you could have seats empty next to you. Also thanks for laughing at my jokes. Some people don’t think I’m very funny. Like my husband for instance. I think I’m hilarious.
Dear 5B. You may notice a Biscoff cookie sticking out of your shirt pocket upon arrival inside the terminal. I took the liberty of planting it there while you were slumbering. Before you get all sentimental and thank me, it wasn’t for you to eat. It was, in fact, a marketing tool. You see, I was careful to insert it logo up, and that also just so happens to be all that’s peaking out of the top of your pocket: the beautiful ️Delta logo, the “widget” and triangle. So please. Don’t eat the cookie. Instead, wear it proudly as a badge of honor, a stamp, if you will; also as a witness to others that you are loyal: to us. In fact, when you change your shirt and go to your business meeting tomorrow, you should move the Biscoff cookie to that shirt pocket: logo up. You know, if you want to. Do it because your ️Flight attendant put it there, and it will bring you good luck and fortune.
Dear person with your hand raised throughout my pre departure announcement: this is not a question and answer 😂. So sorry to not of called on you. I wasn’t purposely ignoring you, I was trying to remember my announcements. You see, when I forget my lines (and I do a lot), I clear my throat or cough. I had already cleared my throat like 15 times before you even raised your hand (I had “my names blurry face, and I don’t care what you think” song stuck in my head and it was interfering with my concentration). So you see, if I had called on you it would of compromised my entire ability to finish what I was saying, let alone demonstrate a flipping seatbelt!
You all heard correctly. When I wAs saying my final “descent announcement”, I did, in fact say, “ladies and gentlamb, we have officiated our final descent into Helena.” I meant to say gentleman, and I meant to say initiated not officiated. Get over it. I heard you all snickering under your breaths. I was just checking to make sure you were listening and to make it more fun. You’re welcome. 😁
Oh are you wondering about the skittle? Yes I ate it off the floor. I watched it bounce out of that ladies wrapper, and it rolled right in front of my jump seat what was I supposed to do!? It could of been a tripping hazard!! I did what any good ️Flight attendant would of done in my situation. Ok maybe not. It IS sort of gross isn’t it!? But it was purple. That’s my favorite skittle. Sides’, gotta build my immune system up for all you sneezing, snotty nosed fall travelers. 😂
Another good ️Flight. Thanks for recapping with me and safe travels.